well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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