It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
