Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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