Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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