Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
