Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We named our party play list daddy issues
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
