talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
