I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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