Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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