"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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