is your mom at the bar?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
