Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
