SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize