How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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