It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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