so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
