Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We left the knife in your bed.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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