The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
