So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
