I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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