1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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