Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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