he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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