i don't like sucking hair
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
