your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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