I wish I could teleport
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
