i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
