some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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