singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Boobs are out for the taking
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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