GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
