Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Of course I have a pirate flag
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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