Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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