Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
