well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
