i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
