This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Are we still banned from the library?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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