are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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