so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
