white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
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