So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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