I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
