My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
