He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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