sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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