Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
