Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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