it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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