Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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