if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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