Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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