Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
