hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
