Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
