So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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