Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
