it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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