ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
