i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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