my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
