I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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