I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
